Hey, you never know, I mean with senseless titles like Love a Duck…
Set out for a nice little run this morning. Having really fallen out of a real set pattern, now that I’m done with the training, there was just an awkward feel to the run. When it’s awkward, it’s interesting how the self talk can go while you’re running
Me: So where we going today?
Myself: Dude, you really should have decided that before starting to run
Me: Yeah, yeah. It just feels like a good day for running, you know?
I: I can’t shake the feeling I’m forgetting something
Me: Forgetting what?
I: If I knew the answer to that, I wouldn’t have forgotten, right?
Myself: My back hurts
Me: Seriously, where are we going?
I: I was thinking 5 miles
Myself: I was thinking maybe 1.
Me: Gotta be more than 1.
Myself: It’s too cold to be running that far
Me: Keep running, it will get better.
I: Okay, how about down to the end of this road, that will be one mile, we can see how we feel from there.
Myself: It’s up hill all the way
Myself: Who’s whining now?
I: That’s wheezing. It’s different. It means I’m working hard
Myself: Sounds to me like it means you’re out of shape
Me: Speak for yourself.
The guy writing the blog: It kinda goes on like that, you know? I could really feel the difference of not running regularly. Any thoughts of 5 miles were put to rest pretty quickly, especially during that first mile which is just a long, slow, steady uphill run. But it is funny, isn’t it, how it starts to feel more natural as you go and get into a rhythm. It definitely started feeling a lot better after getting to the end of the road, taking a couple turns, then running back down the hill.
Me: I’m feeling a lot better now
Myself: Yeah, this feels good.
I: Maybe we could do five.
Myself: What about if we turn down that way, cross over the street that leads to the house, keep going, loop around that park over there then back to the house. That would be at least 3
I: Woohoo. A 5k.
Me: At least! Then we could see how we feel, maybe go on from there right?
Myself. You keep saying we. There is no we. There’s only 1 of us here, don’t forget that.
Me: You got a point. Man, if anyone ever knew about these kinds of conversations…
Myself: It could be bad. Really bad.
Me: I don’t want to be locked up in a padded room.
Me: Shut up.
I: No, you shut up.
Myself: Listen to yourselves
Myself: Shut up.
I: Okay, we’re agreed. No one lets anyone know about this conversation, right?
Myself: There’s our street… let’s call it a day.
Me: No way. This run is feelinlg too good.
I: I just remembered what it is I forgot.
Me: What do you mean?
I: You know, when we were training, we had that morning routine down pretty good, right?
I: Early breakfast, coffee
Myself: Uh oh
Me: Oh no
Myself: Oh crap
I: Oh sh…
Me: Watch your tongue
I: I mean, I got to…
Me: I KNOW what you mean.
Myself: So, home it is
I: Man, it’s a half mile still
Me: Hey, let’s ask that guy there if we can use his restroom.
Myself: No way. Too embarrassing.
I: Shut up guys. It’s taking all my concentration to keep from ruining this new baselayer
Myself: Yeah… we gotta pick up the pace here, get home sooner.
Me: Noooooo…. that’s just shaking it out faster.
I: TMI, dude. TMI.
Me: Okay, so we walk?
Myself: Too slow, we’ll never make it.
Me: I’m telling you — there are houses all along the way here, SOMEONE’s gonna let us use their restroom
I: Then we’d have to move
Myself: Told you: too embarrassing.
Me: I’m struck by the irony of the last few letters of that word
I: Concentrate guys… we got a lot going on here. Breathing, running, keeping it all in…
Myself: You’re awfully quiet.
I: I’m concentrating
Me: There’s something else going on, you have that look…
Myself. Oh my f…
I: Watch your tongue.
Myself: You’re thinking about putting this in the blog.
I: I wouldn’t
Me: You would. You totally are thinking of that
Myself: No way. No way. NOOOOO.
Me: I’ll kill you if you do.
I: We’ve always tried to be transparent with the blog, right?
Me: There’s a fine line between transparency and TMI
Myself: Dude, that’s not a fine line. That line’s about a mile wide and you’re still crossing it.
I: Hey look, there’s the house
Me: Thank God
Myself: Hey, check it out. 1.97 miles.
Me: We have to go. NOW
Myself. C’mon… almost 2 miles… it’s just down a couple houses and back, just another .03
I: Guys, I’m dying here.
Me: You know….
I: Really? You too?
Me: It’s not that bad, we can make it.
Myself: What’s another few seconds?
I: We’re going to regret this.
Me: We’ll be fine
I: I cannot believe we’re doing this
Myself: Don’t you feel better about doing the full 2 miles?
Me: He’s right you know. If our friends see the 1.97 they’re going to wonder why we didn’t go 3
Myself: We’re not telling them why, ARE we?
I: You still have that app posting every run on facebook? People get so tired of that
Me: We’re inspiring people
I: We’re bragging, we’re irritating people
Myself: We’re about to burst guys
I: Watch your tongue
Myself: Oh no.
I: Who the HELL duct taped the toilet lid shut?
Me: Watch your tongue
Myself: We did. Remember? It started leaking right before bed. We did this so no one would use it until we could get it fixed.
Us: OUT OF THE WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYY!
Me: You are SO not writing about this.
I: If no one knows who wrote it, it could be funny.
Myself: Oh no. Not happening.
The moral of the story? Don’t forget your morning routine. Better yet, don’t fall out of the morning routine, especially for important stuff like this, if you’re planning on going out for an extended period of time. And yeah, we… ummm… I made it okay. Barely. But we don’t need to get into those kinds of details.
Me: I KNOW you didn’t eat that much yesterday
Myself: TMI, dude. TMI
Me: I cannot believe you’re writing this down
I: I have the perfect solution
Myself: This I have to see.
Special thanks to our friendly anonymous guest poster
Me: They are so going to see through this
I: No they won’t