Don’t tell anyone this…
I haven’t run yet this week.
Yes, we were starting our taper after Sunday’s long run but I don’t think I was supposed to taper THAT much. But then I don’t think you can call this a taper because taper means still running, just not as much. My running hasn’t tapered, it’ has ground to a complete stop.
I can blame it on a lot of things. I will blame it on a lot of things. Except for now that you know I’m just blaming it on a lot of things you KNOW I’m blaming it on a lot of things (though you probably would suspect as much even if I didn’t tell you I was blaming it on a lot of things. And I really really have no idea why I’m suddenly so fond of the phrase blame it on a lot of things. I suppose I could blame THAT on a lot of things too.
I know I already have blamed.. ummm…. made excuses. I’ve had a couple mornings I’ve gotten up with my back a bit sore and that was enough to say no go. Truth is though that a few minutes after the no go decision my back is feeling fine and there was plenty of time still to change my mind and go. So in the end, it really was an excuse.
Is it that I’m burning out on running? Sometimes I think so, but then I’ll get where I feel like a run would really feel great, though those times seem to happen when there are legitimately reasons I cannot go run at that moment.
I think that part of it is I’ve hit this point where I’ve gotten so much into a routine of running so many mornings, and now mentally there’s this oh, now we can back off, and I don’t know if it’s the lazy genes speaking up or maybe a bit of burn out genes speaking up, but that strong motivation to get out in the morning has disappeared this past week.
And it’s funny because I’m so ready to start kicking in with all the excuses. Schedule gets more hectic now that kids are in school, sore back which is not really that sore (really, a slight twinge seems to count as an all day thing), yada yada yada. And even in writing this I don’t know how many times I’ve started typing out these excuses.
Truth is, I’ve been a bum.
Is this something that will devastate my training? Did I just screw up all my progress of the past 3 months?
I don’t know. I started to say I don’t think so but I think that’s the same side of me that keeps trying to throw out the excuses, you know? The side that says oh, it’s just been a couple days, you’re building up energy now for next week so it’s okay. The insidious thing about that side of me is that it’s really good at coming up with things like that which on the surface can be true and stretch them into something that’s not so good for me. It may well be that this layoff is not going to hurt me that much. The problem with really latching on to that thought is, I can hang on to it and carry it further and in the end really sabotage myself.
So here I am now, Saturday morning, and thinking about going for a run because all of those excuses about time and schedule are gone. Now one little excuse rears its ugly head. I think it’s an excuse. Maybe there’s some truth in it, maybe a lot of truth? Like so many other areas for me, I don’t really know. That one excuse is, we’re doing our long run tomorrow, will doing a run this morning interfere with that, and will I be suddenly working against the whole concept of tapering?
This is why I think this is an excuse. After five days of not running at all, I don’t think it’s possible that running today could in any way interfere with the concept of tapering. Tomorrow’s long run is 5 miles. Running today AND running the 5 miles tomorrow is not going to sap the energy stores and make it so I’m not fresh for the run in a week.
Now, if I go and try to run 4 out of 5 mornings in the next week to make up for the time I’ve taken off, maybe then that would be going too far in the other direction, wouldn’t it? I had a prof in college who loved the phrase ‘when running from Babylon you run past Jerusalem.’
That being said, it’s a gorgeous morning for a run. I really don’t want to waste it by sitting here at a computer. So…. I won’t.