This wasn’t one of them.
You know the ones I’m talking about, right? For whatever reason, they seem to be the ones that you dreaded, but once you get going you find your sweet spot. Everything just feels right, you’re at one with nature, it all just flows, you get done and it seems just effortless. For those of us who like to blog, you come back inspired to write about how great it is to be running, of your filled with a sense of humor and you’re laughing to yourself about what you write (which is good, at least someone’s laughing). The run was awesome, the blog post was awesome, and all is right with the world.
And then there’s runs like last night.
It wasn’t a bad run really. I mean I didn’t come up lame, I wasn’t miserable, Nothing bad happened. I don’t know what I could really complain about. It was just….
Maybe it’s because I didn’t get out in the morning like I usually do. I ran later, after working hard during the day, after getting things done around home, and it just felt incredibly unspectacular. There are those runs where you start out and everything just feels out of whack and something magical happens and it turns into one of those awesome runs. And this run started out that same clunky kind of way. Maybe it’s just that I’ve had those other kinds of runs and I’m just waiting for the moment where it turns magical, and it just never does. It stays clunky. It feels forced. It just never flows. And I get done and that’s a half hour of my life I’ll never get back.
And I sit down and think, well maybe I can just joke about it when writing. Nothing. Nada. Okay, there had to be something I liked about the run, right?
No, seriously. Literally. For at least a moment I know I was kind of enjoying the sound of all the crickets. But it just wasn’t that kind of run where you get lost in what you enjoy, cuz it was just a clunky kind of can’t wait til it’s over kind of run.
Maybe I was just thinking about the run too much? Though I don’t really recall doing that. I don’ know, it was just….
No runner’s high. Where are those damned endorphines I was supposed to release with that run? If I did release them, they sure didn’t stick around to say thank you. Ungrateful little twerps.
I think it’s frustrating because you always want to put a good face on things like that. You reach this point where you just enjoy running and you like being able to tell people you enjoy it, so you get done with a run like this and want to be able to say it was a great run and it just gets frustrating because when you are done with it you just cannot say it was great.
It’s kind of like those awkward moments where you see a friend you haven’t seen for a long time and you want to put up this front about how life is going great, everything is perfect… and you really don’t want them to know how totally not perfect life really is. And it’s not so much that you are really all about putting up a front, as much as you just aren’t into being a downer who wants to load all your problems onto someone else’s shoulders. So you grin through it.
As a blogger, that’s the kind of run last night was. You don’t want to be a downer, you don’t want to spend a lot of time on the stuff that wasn’t as positive or funny or whatever.
But I think there’s a reality to this that maybe doesn’t make a lot of sense. If every run were so magical, I have to think that none of them would be.
I told you it might not make sense. But think about it. If running, or life at that, were always easy, it wouldn’t be so great. Think about why we get better, get more endurance, as a result of our running. We put our bodies through all this trauma, beat them up, create all this stress on our muscles. And then they recover. And get stronger. And the next week, we can run a little bit further or a little bit faster or a little bit easier.
If it were magic to begin with, we’d never really push through to strengthen ourselves so it could be magic. Which kind of creates a conundrum with that illustration because if that were the case it couldn’t have been magic to begin with, right? I guess we could chalk it up to beginner’s luck and thus salvage the illustration.
The point is, there are runs that are going to suck a whole lot worse than last night’s. But then it will be over. And like last night in some strange way it will be a good thing it sucked.
I got through it after all.